Friday, January 20, 2012

Hingle's Thoughts on Breaking Dawn

It's been so long since my last entry! What happened to the holidays? Is it really 2012?

Yes, indeed it is. The holidays flew by and I have nothing to show for it but some old hooks and a circle of dust where my Christmas tree once sat. Christmas was alright, but now it's a new year and a new me (yeah right)! I've made a ton of resolutions and kept up with none of them. 

However, I did catch the movie Breaking Dawn (I know, old news Jerry Hingle!) and it was....something else. Yes, I will shamelessly admit to being a fan of the Twilight series. For all of you anti-twilighters, I will say this: let us be. Sure, the protagonist is a lame, attention greedy, weakling, but she's surrounded by vampires and werewolves! What's not to like? Anyways, the only way to properly approach this topic is to break this movie down into segments.....

The Wedding
Alright, so no complaints with this except for Kristin Stewart's poopy face. The ceremony was beautiful, and the dress was gorgeous. Y'all know you want it. But geeze, Bella certainly doesn't look like someone who is marrying the guy of her dreams. Her face is awkward, her stance is awkward, and she looks like she just pooped her pants and is trying to hide it. But, that's not the fault of the book is it? That's just terrible casting.

The Honeymoon
More awkward moments in which strange indie music is playing during what should be a playful and romantic montage. The location is perfect, the house is perfect, everything is perfect except the bride. 

What to Expect When You're Expecting...a Monster
Yes, this was a big problem of mine when it came to the book. Vampires can't reproduce...but I can't completely criticize Stephanie Meyer for playing with mythology. It's all fiction, so I don't see why the mythology police should come down on her for that. As far as the film goes, this was just as disgusting as I remember it to be in the book, so good job film crew! Makeup was awesome--Bella looks like something is sucking the life out of her. And the ending was awesome! Disgusting and bloody and Bella dies! Yay! 

So that's all I have to say about that movie. I can't say I'm completely looking forward to the second part of Breaking Dawn, but I am curious to meet all the different vampires that come to their aid. 

Alright, that's enough from ol' Jerry Hingle. Till next time!


No comments:

Post a Comment