Monday, November 21, 2011

Thanksgiving Plans Anyone?

I honestly don't understand how it can already be Thanksgiving. This year has really flown by! I feel like I'm still full from last year's tofurky dinner. I'm definitely not complaining though. There is nothing better than a short work week and an entire day dedicated to gorging yourself on pumpkin pie and good 'ol American Football. ...I guess I'm also looking forward to spending time with my friends and family.

I'm anticipating this Thanksgiving to be even more awkward than previous years. Reason being, my Aunt recently joined AA, which means my entire family has to be supportive and not drink alcoholic beverages around her. Lame, I know. I don't know if I have ever endured a holiday gathering with my entire family without my judgement being slightly impaired. My Uncle and I have a bet going that our family won't last more than 20 minutes without someone breaking my mother's lame rule and pouring themselves a glass or 10 of wine.

The cool part about going home for the holidays is that I will run into EVERYONE from my high school. Believe it or not, I'm not being sarcastic. I actually like to see people that I grew up with. It's something about being able to look into the eyes of the kid that always bullied you in high school and know that you have a much more successful and happy life than the fat, child-support owing, loser, druggy that he has turned into. It's going to be great!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Jerry Hingle's Halloween Costume

Ok, so I'm torn. I can't decide what I want to be for Halloween. Last year was a flop. I went as a crazed clown and it was super lame. I'm under tremendous pressure from myself and my friends to make up for last year. I think that I want to be something really random. Maybe I will just hot glue a bunch of costumes together and go as a botched Halloween costume. What do you think?

I miss being a kid. Halloween was my favorite time of year. I know what you are thinking, and your wrong. It is not just because it is my birthday. Halloween was the only night of the year when you got to dress up like a tranny, stay up past your bedtime and eat as much candy as humanly possible. Not to mention, you had an excuse to scare the crap out of your siblings. I remember one year, my sister was coming home from watching a scary movie at our neighbors house. I hurried up and put on my Freddy Kreager mask (I know what your thinking...Jerry Hingle must have made a mighty fine Fred Kreag) and went and hid in the top of the tree in our front yard. As soon as she walked up I jumped down in front of her and screamed. It was one of the most exciting moments of my life. I will never forget the look on her face before she punched me in the nose.

Anyways, kids these days don't have it as good as we did. First of all, it isn't even dark outside when they go trick-or-treating. Secondly, the candy isn't as good. There are a few things that I hope my generation knows how lucky we had it; candy, toys, and CARTOONS.

Oh yea, and let me know if you have any ideas on what I, Jerry Hingle, should be for Halloween. Thanks for reading.

Friday, October 7, 2011

About Jerry Hingle

Since this is my first blog, I thought it appropriate to tell everyone a little more about myself. Don't worry, I promise to cover more riveting topics in the future but I only find it appropriate to begin with answering the question, who is Jerry Hingle?

Great question! Let me first tell you that I'm 26 years old and about to turn 27 (yikes!). My birthday is on Halloween. This was super cool when I was younger because I would always throw the coolest parties out of all my friends. However, now that I'm older it kinda sucks. I mean, all of my friends already have plans for Halloween so hanging out with me (even though it is my birthday) is really not on their minds. Now that I say this outloud, or rather in writing, it makes my friends sound awful...maybe this is the case...or maybe I am an awful friend in return. I mean, someone asked me the other day, "how many of your friends would you be willing to go pick up on the side of the road if they had a flat tire?". My response was, where were they stranded? How far away and were there other people around that could possibly help instead? Also, what time of day, because mornings are a little tricky for me..". I digress.

Let us now return to the question at hand, who is Jerry Hingle? Well, besides being a sub-par friend, I have a cat and a dog. I have an older sister. I'm from a small town. I enjoy hanging out with my friends and playing poker. I'm a student and I like to play sports. I'm thinking I will write my next blog post on fun and unique stuff to fry. Thoughts?